Dream in paranoia (draft, incomplete)

Katya fell on the iron door. The intercom was https://nodepositbonuscasinos.co.uk/review/bubbles-bet/ writing down, notifying that the current stopped leaking to the magnet and the door should now open. After some effort, Katya left the entrance to the cold and gloomy September morning. Behind the door, the door with a terrible creak closed. Bam! – a heavy blow of a metal plate on the earned magnet swept along the street.
– Lord, how cold … – Knocking his teeth, Katya said. She cringed. For a second there was a desire to throw everything to hell and return to the apartment. Let it also be cold, let the empty. But there is a bed, on the bed a warm blanket, a warm blanket. In the kitchen, a slab, on it – a kettle. Full of water pot -bellied iron kettle. Here is a small flame of a match applies to the turned on the burner. Fire is lit. Water boils – and soon tea will be ready. It will become saturated with its aroma and taste in a large ceramic cup, and Katya, meanwhile, wrapped in a blanket, will sit in a dark room in front of a laptop and watch a movie on the Internet. Spoiled Kinzo about love and the like things. Katya will not decide for a long time to get up and go for tea, but the smell of breeding herbs beckons to herself, the smell of heat, comfort … in the end, the smell of her house.
How than ever Katya wanted to return home. Leave this city, quit study. Go to your home, smile at parents, tell them the warmest words in the world, apologize for that rudeness, the fault of which is the boiling young blood in the veins. Katya wanted to sit down at the same table where she made lessons, prepared for exams. At this table, Katya spent almost all the school years – she did not walk with her friends, she did not have a guy. Katya was a lonely girl. And even now she felt like a little girl. There is only cold around.
Katya left the sidewalk on the road and looked around. The street over which the dark huge silhouettes of high -rise buildings towered, was empty. It seems to be a ghost. They are invisible, they float over the asphalt surface, they permeate the reigned oblivion with such a look, from which the blood is crushed in the veins, and a lump rolled up to the throat. No, Katya just had an imagination – after all, this wind drives the leaves smeared in dirt and garbage. But how, how does it look like ghosts, how the emptiness is afraid. The city is buzzing, but its sounds are not heard, because the impenetrable, almost dead silence reliably enveloped Katya. The girl flinched a little, as if from someone’s touch, sighed, filling the lungs with prickly air, and went to the bus stop, clicking on the asphalt with small heels. A clicking sound evaporated one by one in silence. All as one ghost looked after a little lonely girl, until she disappeared from sight. A little time has passed. The lights began to light up in the windows of high -rise buildings. And the ghosts disappeared.
Going to the avenue, Katya quickly went to the stop and began to wait for the bus. At first there were few people, but then the queue began to gather for Katya with inexorable speed. The bus did not appear among the endless stream of cars, and people all came and came. Finally, when the treasured, the thirty -ninth bus rolled to the curb, Katya was nervous – suddenly this crowd behind her simply crushes her? No, this is not destined to happen. The girl quickly went into the open door, enjoying the inner warmth, which was given by the stoves working in the cabin, and leaned against one handrails next to the exit-she only leave after two stops. When the bus scored people, the driver closed the doors and led the car further along the highway.
– For travel! We transfer the travel for the fare! – said the conductor, breaking through the people who were densely standing towards each other. Katya paid for the passage and began to look out the window, at the replacement of one another building, to people-somewhere in a hurry, somewhere in a hurry of people. Katya watched as twilight melt in front of the first rays of the sun, already cold, September sun.
The bus rose to the overpass.
Katya, as if catching the presence of someone familiar in the cabin, turned around. She looked at this huge number of faces for a long time until she recognized Peter Nerin-a tall young man who looked out the window and thought about something, without even noticing Katya. The girl tried to call Peter, but realized that doing this in a crowded bus is a little stupid idea. Peter was a third -year student, studied at the same department with Katya, though Katya was younger than the course. Many people were friends with Nerin, almost everything at the department. He, funny, beautiful, charismatic, was the soul of any company. And almost all the girls at the department were in love with a young man, not excluding Katya. The girl tried to achieve the signs of Peter’s attention from almost the very first year, but something did not work out-the matter did not reach further simple friendly conversations.
Turning away, Katya began to look out the window again. She saw the railway tracks spread out under the flyover, saw trains into which people with full bags entered. Again the girl visited the idea of leaving the city, to leave everything – and go home. Stay there for a long time, almost for a lifetime. Hide in a warm corner, take refuge with a thick blanket, turn on music and read old novels, where beautiful lines take them to the distance, take away far, where dreams live. Katya wanted all this noise to disappear, all this cold and the dusk of the September morning.
The bus moved on the highway, and now there is very little left before the university. A few more streets – and the brakes creaked, the bus stopped, the whole crowd swayed together. The doors opened. Katya in the stream of people who was in a hurry to get out of the bus as quickly as possible, got out of the cabin and stepped onto a hard surface – the staggering floor of this rumbleing monster was left behind. At least until evening.
The university – a large four -story building with white walls, similar to the fortress – stood on a hill, from where almost the entire city was visible. Well, you have to rise. Katya went out onto the path and, lost from any observer behind the students, walked to the university. The thorny air painfully scratched the lungs at every sigh, the wind stroked dry skin, prevented the wind from looking forward, because of which Katya sometimes wiped her tears currently on her cheeks. But whether these tears were only from the wind? Is it only that that was too cold?
The feeling of loneliness crept deep into the heart, burned a hole gaping there with her bottomless black. Katya was surrounded by a thousand people, the whole city was here – but the girl was alone, completely alone. No friends, friends. Katya did not know what love is. Loneliness built a concrete wall around the girl, indestructible, incomplete, impregnable.
Katya cut it to the brain and bones when she went up to the university. At the very door, the girl stopped and looked at the sky. It was covered with clouds, not a single glimpse of the sun reached the ground. The gloomy gray dusk came again. Again behind Katya’s back from the asphalt surface, the silhouettes of ghosts grew. Again came oblivion, in the silence of which the sounds of the roaring city and howling wind were drowning. The heat disappeared, it hissed loudly, evaporated in the icy space, leaving behind only transparent steam. The fog was gently laying on the ground, and the ghosts continued their movement. Their heavy glance fell on Katya’s back. The girl turned around.
– Oh, I’m sorry!
Someone flew into the girl. Katya extended her hands and looked at this man. They turned out to be a girl with dark hair and a little sharp features. She smiled Katya and asked for forgiveness again.
“It’s okay,” Katya was taken aback. – Sometimes it happens ..
– Well … I went. – The girl went on, leaving Katya alone.
Katya, having stood another minute, went to the entrance. Smile – she did not disappear from Katya’s memory. The girl had such a sincere smile, so thin, bright red lips. A moment later, Katya caught herself thinking that she had already dreamed about kissing these lips.